justifying an unbreakable love for detroit

Graffiti covers it all. Windy streets are filled with debris flapping against the broken concrete. Windows remain smashed in. Dirt piles fill the parks. Melted rust coats building structure walls. Barbed wire spirals atop fence lines.
This is the city I love.
Riddled with crime and poverty, Detroit clenches its fist in recoil and gives its best responding effort to fight through every crushing blow to the city abdomen.
But how much more can it really take?

As a 24-year-old fanatic for Detroit, I know how terrifying the city’s streets can become. At any given second, gunshots will echo between building walls, screaming out into the crisp evening air.
Walking down Clifford Street with my roommate in February late one Friday, a black Cadillac Escalade came whistling past us with a car full of 30-somethings. As the bright red taillights lit up the sky a half of a block in front of us, four cracks popped out of a gun barrel in front of an abandoned building.

An individual then leapt into the SUV as the driver stomped his foot onto the accelerator, jerked the steering wheel left and took off down Clifford toward us. Seeing the Escalade approach us, we barrel rolled behind a parked car, shielding our bodies — and eyes — from the car’s contents.
My heart beat so violently inside my chest and throat, I thought I might actually black out in fear.

The two of us, regaining our sense of direction and state of mind, picked ourselves up and took off running in a dead sprint down a street perpendicular to the chaos as my hands bobbled and failed to properly hold my cell phone enough to dial 9-1-1.
What the hell had just happened?

Less than two months later, gunshots rang out again — this time at a bar across the street — as my roommates and I were in line at a local pub. Ambulances, police offers and medics rushed to the scene shortly after.
I know Detroit is filled with problems. It’s one of the fattest, most unhealthy, deadliest and flat-out economically pathetic areas in North America.

Maybe that’s why I want — so badly — to be a part of the movement to change it all. I’m toying with moving straight into the heart of Detroit when my lease ends in June. I practically grew up inside Tigers Stadium, as my dad sat me on top of his shoulders during batting practice two hours before home games camped out in left field.
“This is where all the big hitters put ‘em, Seany,” my dad would say to me. “You’re bound to snag one today.”

He was never wrong. We caught BP homers regularly. We bought pre-game peanuts from the same street vendor before every game. We’d park in the same lot guarded by the same security guard with every trip to Detroit. I never stopped smiling. This was home. I was happiest here: Father, son and baseball.
It’s impossible for me to leave this city behind. Living in Royal Oak, or Lansing, or Redford … it makes me feel incomplete. My mother would have trouble sleeping every night she knew I resided in Detroit, but she too knows my obsession with it, the potential that is there.
I’m a young adult ready to infuse this place. If I can be responsible for even a fraction of that potentially happening, I lived a good life, in my eyes.

I dream of a bustling city with restaurants, bars, trendy clothing shops and outdoors malls thriving every weekend. I see park benches filled with hipsters playing the guitar and singing along to “Sweet Caroline.” I envision skateboarders cruising down Woodward and watching games at Hockeytown Cafe when the Tigers, Red Wings or Lions are on the road.
I see a college town take shape within the intertwined streets of Detroit, with people of all ages taking part.
It’s a long shot, something many people believe will never happen.
But my optimism is there. I’m keeping my head up, like Detroit has always done for me.